Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I wish I had those kinda problems
You dont know how good you have it till you dont. Isnt that a popular saying? I was just talking to a good friend today who recently got married. She told me that she sees less of her now husband then she did when they were dating and got engaged. Though she doesnt regret marriage she says "we got married to see each other less??". And I sat there thinking well you got it good still.
I wish I had that problem. My problem being I see less of the person I married. Its even harder when you got noone to see less. No boyfriend, no fiance, no husband. I want those kinda problems.
She isnt having kids anytime soon but of course her now husband and her talked about it before marriage. I find that a good way to go. When she said babies I got all sad inside cause I want babies. I want to be married. It just doesnt seem fair to not have either of these things.
This is one of those times as a single person I want to turn away and pretend that I am not sad but deepwithin I am so sad I cant even talk about it. Its pretty pathetic I'm sure to be like this but what can I say? Never married, in my now 30's and no where near it makes me not a happy person indeed.
So I wish I had those marriage problems. Moving into together, babies, seeing or not seeing each other. The only one I dont see often enough is my pets and those are my kids of course and they are all I got in that kinda area.
Sad isnt it?
I wish I had that problem. My problem being I see less of the person I married. Its even harder when you got noone to see less. No boyfriend, no fiance, no husband. I want those kinda problems.
She isnt having kids anytime soon but of course her now husband and her talked about it before marriage. I find that a good way to go. When she said babies I got all sad inside cause I want babies. I want to be married. It just doesnt seem fair to not have either of these things.
This is one of those times as a single person I want to turn away and pretend that I am not sad but deepwithin I am so sad I cant even talk about it. Its pretty pathetic I'm sure to be like this but what can I say? Never married, in my now 30's and no where near it makes me not a happy person indeed.
So I wish I had those marriage problems. Moving into together, babies, seeing or not seeing each other. The only one I dont see often enough is my pets and those are my kids of course and they are all I got in that kinda area.
Sad isnt it?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The S word in church?
Thought I would cover something a bit different today. The S word. No not single sex. Haha. Not talking about sex but I am talking about that at church today the new series is about it. Its a new thing and you dont usually hear about these things in church. But today we did. Well although it had some great things to say it didnt seem to apply to me. And thinking everyone has been in the dog bed isnt a nice thing to say. They were gearing it towards people at least in Jr High or higher PG-13 rated and I doubt every Jr High student or higher has had sex.
I'm single. And lets face it I think they shouldnt just talk about it for married people. I hope that if they will include a part in here for those who arent doing it and are single. But they probably wont and again I sit there and think of marriage and all that junk.
I know what a soul mate is, or at least I think I do. And I believe out there is someone who is for me. Someone who is my soulmate. I should look that up in the dictionary soul mate. Maybe I wont. But the point being I was once again confronted with being single in a married world. Even though its impossible for that whole church service to be full of married people and the topic at hand.
Since single and sex are the same first letter. Lets just say that they dont go together. Kinda like opposites attract. Speaking of which and this is off topic but wanted to throw it out there. I heard that sometimes when you are married a while if you are the opposite of each other those little things begin to be things that annoy. Opposites dont always attrack forever. So dont think you have to be opposite to have some sorta thing like attraction.
I am sure this topic will be explored at church further. But I almost dont want to go next week if I think its gonna be only for those who are married. I have dealt with far too many people I am close to getting married or engaged (and then maybe even married too) this year. Its just too overwhelming right now. Down to family and a best friend both tying the knot (not to each other silly they both girls!). I think I am just doomed to face 31 end of year and not have any sense of the word marriage and anything at all to go with it.
So good message sorta. It just little tapped me on the head but didnt hit any nice buttons at all.
Till next time I am feeling the single burden come catch me then!
I'm single. And lets face it I think they shouldnt just talk about it for married people. I hope that if they will include a part in here for those who arent doing it and are single. But they probably wont and again I sit there and think of marriage and all that junk.
I know what a soul mate is, or at least I think I do. And I believe out there is someone who is for me. Someone who is my soulmate. I should look that up in the dictionary soul mate. Maybe I wont. But the point being I was once again confronted with being single in a married world. Even though its impossible for that whole church service to be full of married people and the topic at hand.
Since single and sex are the same first letter. Lets just say that they dont go together. Kinda like opposites attract. Speaking of which and this is off topic but wanted to throw it out there. I heard that sometimes when you are married a while if you are the opposite of each other those little things begin to be things that annoy. Opposites dont always attrack forever. So dont think you have to be opposite to have some sorta thing like attraction.
I am sure this topic will be explored at church further. But I almost dont want to go next week if I think its gonna be only for those who are married. I have dealt with far too many people I am close to getting married or engaged (and then maybe even married too) this year. Its just too overwhelming right now. Down to family and a best friend both tying the knot (not to each other silly they both girls!). I think I am just doomed to face 31 end of year and not have any sense of the word marriage and anything at all to go with it.
So good message sorta. It just little tapped me on the head but didnt hit any nice buttons at all.
Till next time I am feeling the single burden come catch me then!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Here Comes The Bride...
dadadada...blah!!!!! Thats my thoughts on someone besides me getting married. Honestly I am HAPPY for them but SAD for me. If that makes any sense than you too must be single. But if you are married, or engaged or even just dating you dont get it. Its heartbreaking to have to witness a wedding and not be the one walking down the wedding ile.
When I was about 22 I decided to plan my wedding. I was young and had lots of time. Actually I dont know how I did it. I was in college, working part time at the store Barnes & Noble on the weekends, reading lots of books, sleeping little and planning a wedding. Who to? Not known and didnt care. I bought 4 magazines (all at once mind you) on ebay, I bought a few good wedding book or two I wanted badly enough, had my mom buy me a FITNESS magazine that was for getting in shape for your wedding. I subscribed to all these email sites for weddings. I might admit here I was also on a few letters back then they were called yahoogroups or whatever they are called now, for people who were pregnant. Yeah didnt help.
I dreamed about weddings, watched the few wedding movies I owned on dvd over and over again. I planned the top 3 songs, even buying the cds (before itunes or whatever I just had to buy the WHOLE cd) with those songs on them. I still love all my ideas btw I have my little notebook that I made and love the ideas. With a love of sunflowers I thought of using them in everything and its not unqiue. Releasing butterflies instead of throwing rice. Over the years and a few weddings I have gone to I have gathered more ideas like cameras at the tables, and things for favors too. I mean I am like always planning my wedding secretly but havent done it since that year I really did so. I told my mom I did this and she said it was "normal" but was it? I mean I had NO guy at the time. I wasnt dating, just dreaming of marriage. I think at that age I didnt realize what marriage meant. I wanted to be with someone forever and ever and all that happy ever after crap. Its not crap but it is when you dont got it. So I wanted that badly.
My mom told me to write down the age I wanted to be married by, tell God and it would come true. Okay God ready? I wrote down 22. I was nearly 22 when I wrote that. Oops I didnt get it. Okay God 25? When 25 came and went I gave up on ages and decided it was crap to tell God when you wanted to be married after all if you arent ready at that age (or the guys not or both of you!) then it wont happen. but silly me I thought it would work that way. No it did not.
I was at an interview today at Icing the store related to Claires. I saw all this wedding, bride stuff and thought hey thats kinda cool. Then I thought cruel oops and yeah again I felt upset about not being married.
Little reminders are everywhere. Unless you sit at home dont watch tv, read books, go to the movies, watch dvds, listen to the radio or leave your place you will be reminded. How boring life would be without all that. What would you do with your time? So as you can see no matter what you do as a single person you will MORE THAN LIKELY be reminded of it cruely every single stinking day of your single life.
I'm starting to feel bad for myself so I am stopping my first entry. But as you can see this is how the blogs will go. I might keep a notebook with ideas, or just write when I want to, or write and later post. Whatever the format this is my diary of a single girl who would love to with all her heart not be so!!!!
Till next time!
When I was about 22 I decided to plan my wedding. I was young and had lots of time. Actually I dont know how I did it. I was in college, working part time at the store Barnes & Noble on the weekends, reading lots of books, sleeping little and planning a wedding. Who to? Not known and didnt care. I bought 4 magazines (all at once mind you) on ebay, I bought a few good wedding book or two I wanted badly enough, had my mom buy me a FITNESS magazine that was for getting in shape for your wedding. I subscribed to all these email sites for weddings. I might admit here I was also on a few letters back then they were called yahoogroups or whatever they are called now, for people who were pregnant. Yeah didnt help.
I dreamed about weddings, watched the few wedding movies I owned on dvd over and over again. I planned the top 3 songs, even buying the cds (before itunes or whatever I just had to buy the WHOLE cd) with those songs on them. I still love all my ideas btw I have my little notebook that I made and love the ideas. With a love of sunflowers I thought of using them in everything and its not unqiue. Releasing butterflies instead of throwing rice. Over the years and a few weddings I have gone to I have gathered more ideas like cameras at the tables, and things for favors too. I mean I am like always planning my wedding secretly but havent done it since that year I really did so. I told my mom I did this and she said it was "normal" but was it? I mean I had NO guy at the time. I wasnt dating, just dreaming of marriage. I think at that age I didnt realize what marriage meant. I wanted to be with someone forever and ever and all that happy ever after crap. Its not crap but it is when you dont got it. So I wanted that badly.
My mom told me to write down the age I wanted to be married by, tell God and it would come true. Okay God ready? I wrote down 22. I was nearly 22 when I wrote that. Oops I didnt get it. Okay God 25? When 25 came and went I gave up on ages and decided it was crap to tell God when you wanted to be married after all if you arent ready at that age (or the guys not or both of you!) then it wont happen. but silly me I thought it would work that way. No it did not.
I was at an interview today at Icing the store related to Claires. I saw all this wedding, bride stuff and thought hey thats kinda cool. Then I thought cruel oops and yeah again I felt upset about not being married.
Little reminders are everywhere. Unless you sit at home dont watch tv, read books, go to the movies, watch dvds, listen to the radio or leave your place you will be reminded. How boring life would be without all that. What would you do with your time? So as you can see no matter what you do as a single person you will MORE THAN LIKELY be reminded of it cruely every single stinking day of your single life.
I'm starting to feel bad for myself so I am stopping my first entry. But as you can see this is how the blogs will go. I might keep a notebook with ideas, or just write when I want to, or write and later post. Whatever the format this is my diary of a single girl who would love to with all her heart not be so!!!!
Till next time!
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